my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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