he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
