why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
