Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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