You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
