I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it glows. i had to have it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
