he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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