They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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