We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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