Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My ass is underappreciated
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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