he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
