ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
