So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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