Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
