i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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