420 ftw
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
