It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
