At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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