ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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