Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
