I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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