I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
