Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
