just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
3pm strippers are depressing
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We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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