Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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