make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
