my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
