He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
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I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
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This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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