well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
