I didn't shave. On purpose
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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