You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
