I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just cropdusted the office
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
sarcasm needs its own font
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
