Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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