Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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