I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
