New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
