wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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