Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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