just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
