maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she peed on how many people?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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