I faked an abortion last night.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize