Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
