Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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