Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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