There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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