Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
