Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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