dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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