Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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