Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
