Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
