you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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