I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
