Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
