2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
