Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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