Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
