If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
