don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
