I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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