it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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