so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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