Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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