I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
