i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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