I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize