Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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